Due to a hilarious confluence of circumstances involving flight delays and rescheduling, I ended up somehow getting upgraded to first class on a flight when that probably shouldn't have happened. I can now report my findings:
All the vegetarian food in airports is hidden in the first class lounge. You can't buy it for love or money in the main airport, but it flows like cheap whiskey in the first class lounge.
Apparently rich people eat more morally than I thought.
A little group