I may be trapped in Dallas against my will, but man, can't deny that view

All I wanted to do was book some work travel, but now I think I have to go talk to HR.

I'm not sure I want to have to show MYECOX to get on a plane.

R.M. boosted
R.M. boosted

7 things all kids need to hear

1 I love you

2 I'm proud of you

3 I'm sorry

4 I forgive you

5 I'm listening

6 RAID is not backup. Make offsite backups. Verify backup. Find out restore time. Otherwise, you got what we call Schrödinger backup

7 You've got what it takes

What has to be broken in a person to make them want to have a completely useless conversation at great length with a stranger that they'll never see again that just happens to be sitting nearby?

Could it be lead poisoning? Some sort of brain parasite? Or is it just pure misanthropy?

R.M. boosted

Had trouble choosing a mastodon instance? I got GPT-3 to generate some new possibilities.

Members discuss all different forms of flounder, from deep-sea to land-based.

All messages must consist of the two letters 'D', for fear that the dinosaurs will eat people's pocketbooks.

Users must provide a source of warmth in order to post.


I feel like a famous author now: my first book signing! :)

Looking to learn more about Grafana? Want to connect to InfluxDB, Prometheus, Loki, Elasticsearch, or more? Or just curious about data visualization?

I wrote a book to help you! 😃


After the conductor told the 30somethings "it's none of my business what you do when you get to your hotel room, but please leave me out of it", he made an announcement that we were almost to the end of their stop.

This prompted a shout-ridden drinking competition because they weren't going to be able to stand up without spilling their drinks.

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They then had more wine and accused the conductor of having a secret identity as a superhero. They're taking selfies with him.

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One Australian (who has told everyone on the train individually that he's from Australia) has hit such a blood alcohol level that he's complaining about how long this landing is taking. The group of 30somethings near him have to keep taking breaks from loudly discussing who is going to shower with whom when they get to the hotel to remind him that he's on a train, not a plane.

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I've taken Amtrak a lot. I finally realized I could use those accumulated Amtrak points to get some first class upgrades.

Y'all, first class on the Acela is a whole other thing. It gets *rowdy* on a Saturday.

I've started a series of blog posts on tips for working with in interesting ways (which I am trying very hard not to call "Stupid Grafana Tricks").

I'll start sharing them here in case it's of interest!

The first was about using HTML in text panels to draw horizontal and vertical lines to divide up data in your dashboards: blog.ronaldmccollam.com/2022/0

The most recent is on abusing dashboard variables to make clicking in one panel change what's displayed in another: blog.ronaldmccollam.com/2022/0

14 chapters.
345 pages.
252 illustrations.

The first draft of my book is DONE.

Now to drink and then start reviewing the notes from the editor!

Heard at every conference ever:

"We'll now open up to questions from the audience."

"Hi, yes, I have a question. Well, two questions actually, and the first one has six parts. Actually less of a question, more of a story. Actually first let me explain where I'm coming from. I think first though you need my entire life story..."

- Coworker: Hey, can I ask you a question?
- Me: You just did!
- Coworker: I have a question about $specific_tech.
- Me: *waits several minutes*
- Me: It's bad enough to "ask to ask" but please don't make me ask you to ask me your question.

I think from now on I'm only communicating with Z-machine text parsers. Humans are over.

I have found Militant Bisexual Youtube and am likely to be absolutely insufferable until I sober up.

When I die, I want my tombstone to read:


That's enough info for anyone.

@fribbledom I have an algorithm that I can run in my head to generate a unique password per site/service using a salt and parts of the service name.

The best part is that I taught the algorithm to my partner and just use a (different) shared salt for things where we need to share a password!

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A little group